Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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