I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
