go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
