i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
