I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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