I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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