I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
