btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
