It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
