Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
