You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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