how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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