So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
