dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Randomize
