And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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