did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
