They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
