Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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