dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
