It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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