yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
