Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
