what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
