trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
