The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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