She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
