Me. At least after what I've been through.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
