they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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