Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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