I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
