Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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