So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
