you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Fuck appropriateness.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
