I want to make a zoo with you.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
