Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
