Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
