I have demons in me.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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