I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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