Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
