One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
