The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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