We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Never underestimate the power of titties
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
