It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
