I think I am morally bankrupt
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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