no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
