ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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