Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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