We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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