I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
