so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
